YAWN

"Guess what? The coyotes, im not saying they are not bad team. But they will always and forever be OUR team the fucking WINNIPEG JETS. The only reason you fucking have a team now is because of the people who gave you our team. The Jets ruled hockey and had the biggest fans out there. So if your so mad that Winnipeggers keep complaining on how the coyotes suck? How but YOU let it go. The Winnipeg Jets will always forvery be our team. So have your pride in your team.. and we will have our pride in our Jets"

Yawn. The fact is that you don't have a team anymore. The Jets don't exist. You can hang on to your memory as hard as you like, they ain't coming back. But it was fun while it lasted.

It's all well and good to say you were robbed as fans, I'd probably be thinking that way as well if I was a Jets fan. However, the team was bought and paid for.

Let's look at it this way - you go to the Apple store and buy yourself a Mac. Once you have paid for it, the Mac store no longer owns it correct? I will agree that this analogy works in your favor as well (in the sense of, even if you call it a PC, it's still a Mac) but the simple fact remains that once it's your Mac, it's yours. Its past lives no longer matter.

Sorry you no longer have a team but that's business. It is what it is.

Oh God

Who are these mystery people that still visit this dead blog?? It's been forgotten for a while (and I'm sorry about that - getting you all hooked on a blog and then yanking it out from under you) and it's still getting 50+ hits a day. That's just ridiculous. Who has time for that?

But thank you, I appreciate that you check on me. I know it can't possibly be my team that you care about so I am choosing to believe you are really just wondering what I am up to.

Uh.. I've been a bit separated from everything hockey-related for a while. I'm not sure when it's going to become a priority again so the posts here are going to stay few and far between for the time being. There's just no time.

Regardless, I read this tonight and I threw up a little in my mouth at my own reaction. I was actually on Avery's side. Now, that's something that you'll probably never hear me say again, you may want to make a note of it now.

Don't worry, I'll wait.

I mean, really... getting suspended at all much less suspended indefinitely is ridiculous. So ridiculous, in fact, that I just misspelled ridiculous. That's saying something.

Since when can we not talk? I mean, the guy has a made an entire career out of talking shit... now he says one mean thing about some trashy actress/ex-girlfriend and it's like the world is going to end? BFD. He didn't get a slap on the wrist (maybe a sore jaw from Doaner) for punching my captain in the head after the final buzzer a couple years ago (yes, I do hold a damn grudge, thankyouverymuch) but now he runs his famous mouth and gets suspended?? Come on NHL, come on Bettman... don't be an asshole.

Besides, Elisha is totally not worth a suspension. No offense Dion.

Tiki Blogs!!

He blogs like I do... rarely. Heh.

However, I always love to see our children doing ANYTHING outside of the rink. I love when Kyle blogs on the Coyotes website, I love when Doan and/or Carcillo do radio shows. It just tickles my fancy. Now to add another notch to my bedpost blogroll! I totally meant blogroll! Viktor Tikhonov blogs for The Hockey News.

Enjoy!

Thanks Ann for the heads up!!

I Called It

Let me just throw this out there - I. Called. This. Shit!

I'm sitting at the rookie games and I'm like, "Hey Mo. Didn't Tjarnqvist sign in Europe or something?"

"No."

"Are you sure? 'Cause I swear I read that he had signed in Sweden or something."

"No. He did an article that said he was coming to camp to try and win his spot."

Well... IN YOUR FACE! Number 17... Mathias Tjarnqvist. I shall take my bows now. Heh. Hey, it's not often I get something right, I have to take the opportunity to gloat whilst I can.

For the record, he looks like a damn stock car with all those ads on his jersey. They almost detract from the fact that he's wearing a big, shiny 'A' on his chest. Almost. But not quite.

It was fun while it lasted Tjarny. But I called this shit. Look through my archives. Somewhere back there I was like, "No way does he come back." It's true. I said that. Bam! See? Damn, I'm good.

Okay, gloating complete. I shall now fall back into the cracks and leave the reporting to the REAL bloggers. Heh. Enjoy your day.

I'm So Flattered

According to my analytics, you shitheads are still flocking here in droves, DROVES!, even though I've neglected you for so long. I truly appreciate it. Because at some point (hopefully starting yesterday) I am going to get back in my groove and then you'll be SO glad that you stuck with me through this crazy ass summer. Or not. Heh.

So, anyway, I was texting a friend of mine during the game last night (the one where we finally won. Yes, that one) and she's all "WTF. Who's winning??" She is lacking in the internets at the moment. It makes her a bit crazy. Heh. I, however, was in the midst of my Monday night session which includes a large helping of One Tree Hill served with a side of Gossip Girl. I don't have to tell you (or maybe I do) that this means there was no such thing as hockey in my world at that particular moment in time.

So I quickly opened my browser to find out what was going on. We were losing. As has been usual for my poor kidlets these last [all of their] games. I said as much. Then I had to eat my words because Mueller scored, twice, and Boedker proved his worth with a goal of his own. Muells rounded that sucker out with the hattie and Bods tried to give us a hattie of his own by scoring a second goal. Was anyone else even on the ice last night?

Ahh, no matter. The Coyotes win 5-1. Which was awesome because it was the first win this season (not counting the rookie game). I figured (and told my friend as much) that the babies just got sick of losing. They wanted to at least get ONE win in. It may turn around tonight when we play the Sharks again (I still hate these back-to-back games) at the HP pavilion. I hope it gets ugly... those are my favorite games.

The game's at 7:30 tonight (Xtra Sports 910), tune in and cheer. They can't hear you but it'll make you feel better, like you're helping in some way - promise!

Oh and Ziggy's playing. Holla!

You Are The Weakest Link - Goodbye

I probably should have been keeping up on this who's who of the Coyote world, but I haven't... lately you can't have been expecting me to. My blog and I are a mix of hot mess, but we're working on it. We're busy with other interests at the moment. Like, you know, sleeping. Whatever. I digress.

I'm going to try and do this by memory, but I can't guarantee that I won't fuck something up. If you want true news, go to the Coyotes website. This is all about opinions (some that don't make a whole lot of sense) and my own sick sense of humor. You keep coming back, though, because deep down you're all masochists and you secretly like to watch me butcher the English language and my hockey team (and yours too, most likely). Let's move along, shall we?

So far, during these wonderful days of training camp (of which I've been apart of none times) we've lost a couple goalies: Josh Tordjman and Joel Gistedt. We've lost some forwards: Jeff Hoggan, Adam Keefe, Derek Nesbitt, Simon Ferguson, Steven Goertzen, Chad Kolarik, Francis Lessard, Brett Maclean, Adam Perry, David Spina and Daine Todd and we've lost some defensemen: Logan Stephenson, Drew Fata, Dylan Reese, David Schlemko, Sean Sullivan and Sean Zimmerman. All of them have been sent to San Antonio where they'll face this same process again - some will be plucked out and kicked to the proverbial curb. Some will play in San Antonio and some will make their way back up here later in the year to play for the 'Yotes.

We've also lost Michael Stone, Mathieu Brodeur, Nick Ross, Jared [the other] Staal, Tyler Johnson, Colin Long & Kurtis Mucha to their respective junior clubs. Have no fear fans, we'll be seeing them again... just not right now.

According to my calculations (and since I'm a cheater, the updated roster on PhoenixCoyotes.com) this means we're still carrying three goalies in Bryz, Telly and Al Montoya. My money is on Montoya being sent down next. We played the whole 3-headed-goalie-monster last year, it didn't really work for us.

We're also keeping a firm grip on Keith Yandle, Zbynek Michalek (because there was always a chance he wouldn't play... *insert my over-the-top eye-rolling here*), Matt Jones, David Hale, Jonas Ahnelov, Kurt Sauer, Derek Morris, Ed Jovanovski and Ryan Lannon. I'm making no predictions here. Mostly because it's 2:30 in the a.m. and I'm not in the mood for more rambling... but also because there are a few that I would like to see go and a few I would like to see stay but my wishes are rarely taken into consideration with this club. They just don't value my opinion as highly as I do.

As for forwards, we're still swimming in 'em! Martin Hanzal (who should be back on his feet sooner rather than later after this summer's back surgery), Olli Jokinen, Dan Carcillo, Mike Zigomanis, Brian McGrattan, Todd Fedoruk, Enver Lisin, Shane Doan, Kevin Porter, Joel Perrault (concussed as of this moment), Steve Reinprecht, Daniel Winnik, Garth Murray, Viktor Tikhonov, Alex Bourret, Peter Mueller, Mikkel Boedker and Kyle Turris. *Gasp for breath here while you have the chance!*

If you know anything about me (or have EVER read this blog before) you know that I have an entirely unfounded and/or unnatural obsession with Mike Zigomanis. I want him to play every night and I want him to play well. Unfortunately, that rarely works out in my favor because he's not an elite player. Regardless, I love the guy and am super stoked that he's still around. I doubt he'll survive the next cuts (of course I could be wrong considering I haven't actually seen him play this year) but I feel like there are far too many more useful players in that list and he'll be sent back to rot in San Antonio while I pine for him here in my ridiculously expensive birthday present of a Mike Zigomanis practice jersey that I can't wear. Oh, this life.

I noticed, this year, that there were a lot more players that I didn't recognize. More often than not I found myself sitting with a blank expression on my face - "Der... who? Who the hell did they say that was?" Yeah, you should have seen me at the rookie game, I was completely effin lost. Good thing they were wearing the team's jerseys or I would have been so fucked.

There were a few other things I wanted to bring up. Now, unfortunately, I got lost on a tangent and can't remember a damn word of it. I'll be back tomorrow (or next week... you never can tell) to finish my thought processes on all things Coyotes. Until then my dears!

Jonas Ahnelov & NO MORE CHEW!

This is my new best friend - Jonas Ahnelov. There are a few reasons for this and I'll explain them to you now. One of which is the (extremely fangirl-ish) fact that he's 10 kinds of beautiful. Don't argue with me ladies, it's so there. Next up, a little more fan and a lot less girl, he's a god damn machine on the ice. At yesterday's Rookie exhibition game (vs. L.A.) he was still getting his sea legs (ice legs?) under him and so he wasn't on fire... however, he was fired up.

I'll say one thing for you damn Kings, you guys are irritating as shit. Cheapshots abound when the Baby Kings are in the building. I'm sure we had our share too and I really don't want 15 emails saying that Coyotes Pups suck and were doing as many cheapers as the Princes. I'm blind to my team's flaws. You leave them be.

So I'll say this - Ahnelov is a beast, I hope he has a spot on our roster at some point this year. He is so exciting to watch (and no, that's not a reference to his pretty features) and I would really kill to see him unleash some of that temper that I see rolling under the exterior.

Moving right along. Derek Morris, you own my heart for more than one reason. You've got a hell of a sniper shot and you're an honest to god nice guy (who knew there were any of you left?) but honey, the chew? Not a good look for you. Not a good look for anybody. Please, for the love of all things beautiful, put it away!!

That is all.

IT'S HOCKEY SEASON FOLKS!!

I'm Such a Slacker

If anyone is even still reading my poor, pathetic and neglected blog... I apologize. Off season is a terrific time to forget I have any type of obligations to my blog and to my faithful readers. I've been slacking more than usual lately but I am trying to get back in the loop. It's been fairly easy to ignore anything hockey-related lately and that included making up any goofy interviews with players. Luckily though, the season is fast approaching and so I think it's about that time that my hiatus ends!

Let's see - like I said, I am extremely out of touch so it's a bit difficult for me to give you any sort of news yet. However, I am aware that the give-away schedule is out tomorrow afternoon, for those of you interested (and I know I am). I always love free stuff!

Doan's unofficial camp opened today at Alltel Ice Den in Scottsdale. I didn't go so I don't have much to report on that front (I'm a horrible blogger, I'm so out of touch!) While we wait for me to get back in the swing, go check out Mo's blog, she's more in the know than I am. I'll be back to old form soon! Promise lovelies!

Phoenix Coyotes Soundtrack

The HLOG has finally taken their Creative Challenge off hiatus and our first challenge was to create a soundtrack for our teams past season. I wanted it to be wholly meaningful and so, as is my nature, I made a joke of it first and went to my iTunes, clicked shuffle and happily played along trying to create a reason for whatever song came up. Then I got down to business and created my ACTUAL playlist, but first… the nonsense!! Enjoy.

Invisible – Ashlee Simpson
All the naysayers from the offseason who thought we’d be dead last and then turned around and called us a Cinderella story and talked about how exciting we were, etc. BAHAH! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. We don’t need it.

Breaking Free – High School Musical (Yeah, yeah. I don’t want to hear it.)
A couple high points in the season when we cracked into the playoffs with a team that no one expected to go anywhere. Take some of that.

Kids of the Future – Jonas Brothers
Rookie Camp, ‘nuff said.

Heartache Every Moment – HIM
Every time we played the Minnesota Wild and got spanked. The beginning of the season when we faced the San Jose Sharks and couldn’t seem to get one past the Tosk. Man, I am cringing just thinking about it.

Stupid Girls – Pink
Ok… too easy. I’m not even going to go there. It’s sexist. Use your imagination.

Close Yet Far – CKY
The end of the season. We were so close to the playoffs we could taste them… unfortch, almost doesn’t count and we had to sit out, once again. Damn.

OK, on to the actual playlist because I’m bored with that already (Gemini…) –

First Game of the Season – “Alive” by POD
Our arena was jam-packed and the tempo was crazy-insane. As fans, we finally had something to look forward to and it was obvious in the atmosphere in there. We came for a winning team and a good show and the players were only too happy to oblige.

Signing Ilya Bryzgalov – “You Are The One” by HIM
I wrestled with using Enrique Iglesias’ “Hero” but thought better of it… Haha.

Trading Fredrik Sjostrom to NYR, Keith Ballard and Nick Boynton to FLA – “Say Goodbye” by Chris Brown
Yeah, I’m a typical fangirl but I fell in love with my boys over the years and I hate losing my favs. There are those (who shall remain nameless to protect their honor) that I don’t even notice gone… and then there are guys like these.

My pet, Kyle Turris’, First NHL Game – “Right Where I Belong” by 3 Doors Down
Pretty self-explanatory. He belongs with us.

End of the Season – “Come So Far (Got So Far to Go)” from Hairspray
Yeah, that’s right. I know my team has come a long way from where we were even just a year ago but I’m okay with it. Every game we got better and more comfortable and even though we have probably have a long road ahead of us as far as winning the Cup is concerned… we’re on our way.

That’s probably (not) the best I can do but I’m going to leave it or else I’ll spend far too much time trying to make it perfect… never works.

(x-posted to HLOG)

Signings Thus Far

I didn't/don't have the stomach to write out the whole of Free-Agency Frenzy.

However, now that it's a few days later I've decided to write out the guys we've signed. For a full analysis you'll have to point your browsers to Coyotes Hip Check for all the dirt. Enjoy.

NEWBIES

Defenseman Kurt Sauer - Obviously to replace Boynts (on the ice, not so much in our hearts.) - 4 years, 7 million dollars.

Right Wing (and league tough guy) Brian McGrattan (to protect our chitlins from the Sean Averys of the world.) - 1 year, as yet undisclosed dollar amount.

Left Wing Todd Fedoruk - 3 years, 3.1 million dollars.

Defenseman David Hale - 2 years, as yet undisclosed dollar amount.

Right Wings Mikkel Boedker and Viktor Tikhonov have been signed to entry level contracts.

Right Wing Derek Nesbitt (Gods help us, I think he's AHL.)

Defenseman Drew Fata (See above.)

Right Wing Francis Lessard (I'm assuming he also is for San Antonio.)

RESIGNED

Defenseman Matt Jones has been resigned to a 2 year deal.

Goalie Al Montoya.

Left Wing David Spina (WOOHOO MESA BOY!)

LOST TO THE WIND

Craig Weller signed with the Minnesota Wild.

Radim Vrbata signed with the Tampa Bay Lightning... he's going to keep Toc company, I know.

AS YET UNACCOUNTED FOR

Mathias Tjarnqvist

Bill Thomas

Ladislav Nagy (Kill me... I'm DYING to know what happens with my boy.)