We Have With Us Tonight

It's that time again my dears, time to sit down for a one-on-one with one of our most beloved Coyotes and find out what, exactly is going on inside his head.

True Coyote Love - Thank you so much, Danny, for joining us today. We can call you Danny, can't we?

Daniel Carcillo - Sure. Yeah, I mean; I guess so; if you want to.

TCL - ...Okay. So, how has this off season been going for you?

DC - Not too bad, you know. We've been working out and pretty much getting ready for next season.

TCL - Uh-huh. Sounds pretty bland.

DC - What?

TCL - Here's the thing Danny, we've gotten some requests that you be our next interview and there are some questions that the fans desperately want answered. Are you game?

DC - I have a girlfriend.

TCL - Look, honey, I understand that YOU think that's the best we can come up with but trust me, our questions and the questions of our readers are far more bizarre; but much more fun to answer. Again, are you game?

DC - I guess I'm up for anything.

TCL - Glad you should say that. Now, our first question: what was the deal with the whole big fluffy hair thing you were rocking at the end of the year? I mean, you seriously had hair EVERYWHERE. What was that about?

DC - Well, honestly, I want to say it was a fashion statement; that I was more than a pretty boy; but the truth is that it provided some cushion when I got punched in the face.

TCL - Cushion.

DC - Exactly.

TCL - Is it wrong that that actually makes so much sense to me? Next question: The tattoos.

DC - Heh heh. I get a lot of questions about them.

TCL - So, we understand these ones.

TCL - Stars. We get that.

DC - Yeah.

TCL - But, what the hell is this?

TCL - Some sort of tribal bird... care to explain?

DC - Well, the thing is... no, I don't really know how to explain it.

TCL - What is it?

DC - You wouldn't understand.

TCL - If you don't tell me, I'll just make something up and it will be much worse for you, trust me.

DC - It wouldn't be the first time --

TCL - What?! Are you insinuating that I spread rumors about you?

DC - Chill out. I didn't mean you.

TCL - Oh.

*Pause*

TCL - So you won't tell us the story behind the tattoo?

DC - No.

TCL - Not even a little peak behind the curtain?

DC - No. I could tell you but, you know the rest?

TCL - So, next question.

DC - Works for me.

TCL - This is my favorite, I have to tell you.

DC - Should I be afraid?

TCL - Probably. But it's far too late to worry about that now. Here's the deal, we've noticed an increasing amount of flesh involved in your interviews and/or videos. Shirtless in the after game interviews, which we understand; it's hot, you're sweaty; but the welcoming Kyle Turris to the team in only a towel? What's that about? Even at this moment, you're half-naked... You just don't like clothes?

DC - Well, I know this is an interview and it's going to be all over the place but can we try to keep this to ourselves?

TCL - We can TRY but it most likely won't work.

DC - The truth is that I'm just really hot. Not temperature wise. But people always tell me I'm sexy and so I figure why not exploit that? Girls wear low cut shirts to show off the chesticles, I wear nothing to show off the entire package.

TCL - Family site!! We can't legally talk about your "package".

DC - That's not what I meant.

TCL - Oh. Sorry.

DC - I mean seriously, look at me. I'm a good looking guy? You think I'm good looking right?

TCL - Uh, sure. I guess. You're ok.

DC - Ok huh? Hmm... so then why are you fanning yourself?

TCL - Er... Well, we really thank you for your time Danny. I wish I could print more of this interview; it's rather, ahem, revealing one might say. But unfortunately, as stated previously, I do run a family site and so the majority cannot be shown to the public. You understand?

DC - Sure. I'm a hockey player, it can't be sunshine and daisies all the time.

TCL - Of course not. We wouldn't expect anything else, doll.