Blake Wheeler

You are now officially on my shit list...

You'll be happy to know that you are in fine company. Sean Avery, Jordin Tootoo and Jeremy Roenick join you on this list for one or more egregious acts.

Kudos.

You know, I can't be 100% pissed off at you yet. The gossip will find it's way out Blake Wheeler. We don't know the facts yet on why you chose free agency over being a Coyote. But we will. We WILL find out why you blew us off.

My guess? (And please note that I am irked at this moment so this whole post is colored in irritation.) He didn't want to share the spotlight with the Kyle Turris' and Peter Mueller's who might or might not be far more fantastic than him.

Green is not your color Wheels.

We Have With Us Tonight

It's that time again my dears, time to sit down for a one-on-one with one of our most beloved Coyotes and find out what, exactly is going on inside his head.

True Coyote Love - Thank you so much, Danny, for joining us today. We can call you Danny, can't we?

Daniel Carcillo - Sure. Yeah, I mean; I guess so; if you want to.

TCL - ...Okay. So, how has this off season been going for you?

DC - Not too bad, you know. We've been working out and pretty much getting ready for next season.

TCL - Uh-huh. Sounds pretty bland.

DC - What?

TCL - Here's the thing Danny, we've gotten some requests that you be our next interview and there are some questions that the fans desperately want answered. Are you game?

DC - I have a girlfriend.

TCL - Look, honey, I understand that YOU think that's the best we can come up with but trust me, our questions and the questions of our readers are far more bizarre; but much more fun to answer. Again, are you game?

DC - I guess I'm up for anything.

TCL - Glad you should say that. Now, our first question: what was the deal with the whole big fluffy hair thing you were rocking at the end of the year? I mean, you seriously had hair EVERYWHERE. What was that about?

DC - Well, honestly, I want to say it was a fashion statement; that I was more than a pretty boy; but the truth is that it provided some cushion when I got punched in the face.

TCL - Cushion.

DC - Exactly.

TCL - Is it wrong that that actually makes so much sense to me? Next question: The tattoos.

DC - Heh heh. I get a lot of questions about them.

TCL - So, we understand these ones.

TCL - Stars. We get that.

DC - Yeah.

TCL - But, what the hell is this?

TCL - Some sort of tribal bird... care to explain?

DC - Well, the thing is... no, I don't really know how to explain it.

TCL - What is it?

DC - You wouldn't understand.

TCL - If you don't tell me, I'll just make something up and it will be much worse for you, trust me.

DC - It wouldn't be the first time --

TCL - What?! Are you insinuating that I spread rumors about you?

DC - Chill out. I didn't mean you.

TCL - Oh.

*Pause*

TCL - So you won't tell us the story behind the tattoo?

DC - No.

TCL - Not even a little peak behind the curtain?

DC - No. I could tell you but, you know the rest?

TCL - So, next question.

DC - Works for me.

TCL - This is my favorite, I have to tell you.

DC - Should I be afraid?

TCL - Probably. But it's far too late to worry about that now. Here's the deal, we've noticed an increasing amount of flesh involved in your interviews and/or videos. Shirtless in the after game interviews, which we understand; it's hot, you're sweaty; but the welcoming Kyle Turris to the team in only a towel? What's that about? Even at this moment, you're half-naked... You just don't like clothes?

DC - Well, I know this is an interview and it's going to be all over the place but can we try to keep this to ourselves?

TCL - We can TRY but it most likely won't work.

DC - The truth is that I'm just really hot. Not temperature wise. But people always tell me I'm sexy and so I figure why not exploit that? Girls wear low cut shirts to show off the chesticles, I wear nothing to show off the entire package.

TCL - Family site!! We can't legally talk about your "package".

DC - That's not what I meant.

TCL - Oh. Sorry.

DC - I mean seriously, look at me. I'm a good looking guy? You think I'm good looking right?

TCL - Uh, sure. I guess. You're ok.

DC - Ok huh? Hmm... so then why are you fanning yourself?

TCL - Er... Well, we really thank you for your time Danny. I wish I could print more of this interview; it's rather, ahem, revealing one might say. But unfortunately, as stated previously, I do run a family site and so the majority cannot be shown to the public. You understand?

DC - Sure. I'm a hockey player, it can't be sunshine and daisies all the time.

TCL - Of course not. We wouldn't expect anything else, doll.